American Mustache Institute
including a link on their website!
The American Mustache Institute is the only mustache advocacy organization in the world. Even prior to our incorporation, our administration and faculty have a long and honored history of fighting discrimination against, and spreading the glory that is the mustache. But as you can see in our rich, glorious history here, our efforts since our official formation are worthy of love and praise as we are the bravest organization in the history of mankind.
As we are aware of virtually every organization dedicated to the upper lip warmer, we have long known of, and respected, The Whisker Report and its cookie duster revival efforts such as the Mustache Bash. Therefore, we believe it appropriate to provide The Whisker Report with AMI's official endorsement as ambassadors of the "labia sebucula " (Latin for "lip sweater", and all the goodness and wholesome deliciousness that comes from it. Keep fighting the good fight in keeping the mustache alive.
In closing, we offer this fair warning for those who follow The Whisker Report in growing said mustache, as they should be worn with discretion and caution. AMI supports healthy, happy, performance enhancing-free mustaches that do not contain pesticides. Mustaches should be worn at the individual's own risk, and AMI is not responsible for mustaches that make men look like child molesters. Mustaches should not be worn by women who hope to find employment outside of waste collection or who are looking for any form of male companionship. If your mustache causes you to have an erection for more than four hours, seek immediate attention from a doctor, spouse, or girlfriend . Wearing a "Dictator" mustache may lead to repeated beatings. Unibrows, commonly referred to as "forehead mustaches," are not recognized by AMI. AMI does not support chin coverage (i.e. beards, goatees) as they represent the "spousal compromise." The vast majority of mustache wearers have highly positive responses from friends, exotic dancers and grade school teachers. In extremely rare cases, mustaches may cause rashes, itching or a significant decrease in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large. AMI strongly encourages consulting your physician before exploring your personal mustache capabilities, as premature mustache growth may lead to feelings of despair and depression. AMI cautions against trusting clean-shaven officers of the law. If a mustache-free constable attempts to stop your vehicle, dial 911 and proceed to the nearest police station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet you with open arms. Please consider the environment before shaving your mustache.
Aaron Perlut
The American Mustache Institute
http://www.americanmustacheinstitute.org/
(877) STACHE-1
"...a mustache is a terrible thing to shave"
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